Sam's Club is now selling a NINE-POUND tub of Oreo frosting. It comes in a giant bucket, and I guess you're supposed to use it to frost like 200 cupcakes . . . but really, you should just take it to the couch and eat it straight up with a big wooden spoon.
If you DO take down the entire bucket, you'll consume 16,380 calories . . . 936 grams of fat . . . 1,521 grams of sugar . . . and hey, 117 grams of protein.